Janice M Cali
Aching, Tired and Frustrated
Hug Your Dog, Feel Better
Aching, it is normal when the weather is damp, extremely, coolish but not yet cold. Because of arthritis and fibromyalgia damp, regardless of temperature hurt, hot and humid tend to hurt more than cold and damp, but right now the weather is between the two. So it's running in the mid-80's temperature while we have had rain since, last Friday. A little long to be experiencing this weather, especially when the gloom is a little hard to deal with for such a long period of time.
Second, Tired. Yeah, mostly my own fault, I'm staying up way too late again. Between 1:00 and 3:00 a.m. every night for about four days. This is not a good thing. I take medication that knocks me out but I have to take it much earlier than I am. Last night I took it at about 1:20 a.m. and decided to read for a while, not bright. I found myself having trouble focusing on the book in about 10 minutes, at 15, I realized that it was definitely time to turn off the light and sleep. But I had to put the phone in its charger, across the king sized bed, a long reach unless of course I moved over, which I did, having to negotiate around Roux, she was sleeping up near the top of the bed and I didn't want to disturb her if I could help it, I like her too much and she won't warm my back if I move her. So, here I am, curled around a black poodle dog, shoving pillows out of my way, and I've turned the light off and I need to find the charger on the night stand, which I finally did. Crawled back across the bed to my side, and had to adjust the bed to the proper sleeping position, it's adjustable and both sides have to match or it's very uncomfortable, because I usually end up right about where the two halves of the bed meet. It's one of those king beds that are really two twins put together.
Now you know that part of why I'm tired, now the reasons I'm staying up so late. I've taken on two projects. One is Jerry's fault, the other is my father's. The first, Jerry's. He's always searching the internet for businesses he might be interested in and might actually be able to make money with. Normally he doesn't find one, or he finds one, buys into it only to discover he doesn't want anything to do with it and writes it off. This time he found one that he really liked, mostly I think because it has many of the real money making on-line marketeers, and second because it deals with reselling hosting services, plus a bunch of other computer related services, something he knows a lot about. I do too, but not as much as he does. Anyway, for about three weeks he's been working like crazy on this project, selling quite a few affiliates, etc. He told me that he'd tell me when it would be a good time for me to buy in, for a $1.00 two week trial, and if it didn't work for me in the two week trial, I could cancel and he'd give me my dollar back. So, he told me that it was time, I think last Friday. So, on Monday I bought in, then the launch of the project going public was delayed for two weeks. But the new pre-launch was announced for tomorrow. Find, I'd wait, I still had a week. And I'd started doing all the things that you have to do to sell a product, regardless of whether it's something that people buy and take home or a hosting service. You've gotta sell it, get leads to possible people who might be interested, etc. This takes a while. But I'm working on it a lot. But it's tiring, emotionally draining and frankly frustrating. You see you get about one sale for every say 1000 people you contact. Sigh, this might take a while. But it is a good product so I figured, I'd stick with it, maybe even after the two week period which means that I'll have to pay $44.95 for every month that I don't cancel. I can't actually afford that but if the project works, then it will be worth it. But, building a new web site, getting out emails, searching for leads, etc. is mentally and even physically tiring.
The second project, that will take another eight hours a day, at least, do research on my mother's and father's families. They want to know more about their families. First, my father has lost track of many of his cousins, their childresn, etc. Then he wants to know more about my mother's family which has been here since the mid 1600s. Personally, I'd like to know more too, especially since mom doesn't know anything, really, about her father. She knows she had aunts, but doesn't know who they were. She knows her mother had about six sisters but also knows very little about them. So, I get to do a whole bunch of research. Fortunately daddy was willing to pay for a month of Ancestry.com. Which is one of the best places to do the research. I used up my two free weeks, so not it's pay by the month.
So, that's why I'm tired, and probably will be. Add a migraine that's been hanging on for about five days, not one that's blinding, at not all the time, but just enough to be very uncomfortable.
Third, Frustrating. Yeah, just read most of the above. All of those projects, what I have to do to make them work, and the research for my parents at the same time, then you add the physical problems, and the migraine, it's pretty frustrating. Then you can add the fact that I've been getting the shakes, badly, mostly in my right arm, but sometimes in my left too, these shakes can last us to 15 minutes and are very tiring. And the topper, every once in a while I start to stutter, not just one word at a time, but every word is almost impossible to get out, I have to stop and use the next word to be able to talk at all. This doesn't happen as ofter as the shaking, but try typing with the shakes, or having an intelligent conversation with someone when you can't get words out. And then a new problem has started popping. I may have mentioned that I type about 70 wpm, that's fast, and I'm usually accurate, very accurate. Well, now when I'm typing, I know what letters I want to type but my fingers will type other letters or put all of them in the wrong order, even though I know exactly what I want to type. Can you imagine what that's like, if I don't correct the mistakes, which can take up to four tries than you'd be reading almost impossible words. It's kind of like stuttering with my fingers instead of verbally. Fun ain't it.
Yes, I'm seeing a doctor about it. My regular doctor on Friday, my neurologist in another week, and hopefully having an MRI sooner. Actually an MRA which includes the veins and arteries. I can hardly wait.
Well, I'll keep you in touch with the foibles and erratic behaviors of my mind and body. Meanwhile, I'm just going to enjoy myself as much as I can, maybe I'll stop correcting the typos that my fingers want to make and my brain let's it.
Photograpy "Hugs" copyright 2009 by Wanda J. Purifoy
