Janice M Cali
Being Away
I know that many of you have been following my life through this blog and that for almost a month now I have not posted a thing. First, my computers both went down at once, not a lot of fun. The desktop got fixed but I don't like working on it because of where I have it and it is my business computer. My laptop took longer to get fixed but finally it is up and running, thank goodness.
Now, what have I been up to after the computers were fixed and I still didn't post? Well, I've had a 16 day stay in a hospital, namely a psych ward of a hospital. No nothing happened to me, I didn't do anything stupdi, but my medications weren't in balance, and were not working, at all. My depression deepened, my anxierty was getting worse and worse and my panic attacks came more and more frequently. So my nurse, therapist and my doctor all thought a short stay in the hospital would help. The estimate was seven to 10 days, I told them it wouldn't happen, it never does with me, my hospital stays are always longer than expected or something happens and I end up in a rehab center or a nursing home. I was, of course, right.
The first week my doctor tried a new medicine named lamecta (spelling might be wrong), and we quickly discovered I was allergic to it. Then we added a new anti-depressant to my list of the same at night, and it works, really well, knocks me on my ass, and I'm finally sleeping better, if not as well now that I'm home as it did in the hospital. I seem to have adjusted to this drug way to fast, but it still helps. Then we added another drug in the morning and afternoon that helps me stay awake and able to concentrate, right now I'm without it since my insurance said they wouldn't pay for it since it is being used off label, the drug is for narcoleptic, which I'm not, so using it for a person with severe depression is just not all right and the drug for 60 pills (my dose for a month) would be something like $900 a month, not something my rather tight budget allows.
Now how am I feeling? Much better, most of the time. I do feel somewhat anxious due to being home again, and having to face my life but I'll survive that and eventually start to feel normal, well as normal, as I'll ever be, again. Right now, I do experience fear and a little panic as well but that too will go away, or so I hope.
Later I'll write about my life in the hospital, which is an excellent one, with a wonderful staff and a caring management. It's a good thing. I only ran into one person who was less than pleasant, and he's a jerk and basically disliked by everyone. So it wasn't just me.
Later all, hang in there, remember you are not alone, and there is always a way to get help and the help can make a major difference in your life and how you live it.
Now, what have I been up to after the computers were fixed and I still didn't post? Well, I've had a 16 day stay in a hospital, namely a psych ward of a hospital. No nothing happened to me, I didn't do anything stupdi, but my medications weren't in balance, and were not working, at all. My depression deepened, my anxierty was getting worse and worse and my panic attacks came more and more frequently. So my nurse, therapist and my doctor all thought a short stay in the hospital would help. The estimate was seven to 10 days, I told them it wouldn't happen, it never does with me, my hospital stays are always longer than expected or something happens and I end up in a rehab center or a nursing home. I was, of course, right.
The first week my doctor tried a new medicine named lamecta (spelling might be wrong), and we quickly discovered I was allergic to it. Then we added a new anti-depressant to my list of the same at night, and it works, really well, knocks me on my ass, and I'm finally sleeping better, if not as well now that I'm home as it did in the hospital. I seem to have adjusted to this drug way to fast, but it still helps. Then we added another drug in the morning and afternoon that helps me stay awake and able to concentrate, right now I'm without it since my insurance said they wouldn't pay for it since it is being used off label, the drug is for narcoleptic, which I'm not, so using it for a person with severe depression is just not all right and the drug for 60 pills (my dose for a month) would be something like $900 a month, not something my rather tight budget allows.
Now how am I feeling? Much better, most of the time. I do feel somewhat anxious due to being home again, and having to face my life but I'll survive that and eventually start to feel normal, well as normal, as I'll ever be, again. Right now, I do experience fear and a little panic as well but that too will go away, or so I hope.
Later I'll write about my life in the hospital, which is an excellent one, with a wonderful staff and a caring management. It's a good thing. I only ran into one person who was less than pleasant, and he's a jerk and basically disliked by everyone. So it wasn't just me.
Later all, hang in there, remember you are not alone, and there is always a way to get help and the help can make a major difference in your life and how you live it.
