Janice M Cali
Wouldn't It Be Nice?
Life Is An Illusion
Wouldn't it be nice if life really were an illusion like the picture above. Two faces? A goblet? You decide, it's actually both and that is somewhat fitting. Life can be two faced or a goblet filled or empty of emotion, feeling, happiness, sadness, whatever, life can be anything you make it, or so I'm told.
In reality sometimes it seems that life is set on a certain path and there you'll stay whether you struggle to change that path or not. At other times life is full of change, opportunity and surprises. I keep looking for the part where I can have the life I choose not the one where it's been predetermined (not that I really believe in predetermination, it just seems that way).
Some part of me believes that if a couple of things in my early childhood had been different my life today would have been totally different. If my Grand Mother hadn't died when I was 3, I might not have gotten lost and if my parents had found the right places, schools, for the way my thought processes work my life would have been ever so different. Wouldn't it be nice if we could change some things.
Would my life have been better or worse. I like to believe that it would have been better, especially if my Grand Mother had lived at least until I was old enough to understand why she was no longer with us, and that I had nothing to do with her leaving. Besides, I loved my Grand Mother, almost worshiped her, since she was my primary care giver when I was an infant. She was a special person and I will always believe that she watches over me and is sometimes disappointed, but loves me just the same.
The other, a different type of school, a place where a person who doesn't think the way the average person does, who looks at the world with a creative and unique view. Who likes to take her own direction to the solution of problems but always gets there, perhaps not in a conventional way but does get to the solution, frequently faster, almost always right, and in a way that others can't always comprehend. This little trick used to drive my teachers nuts, and many of my friends, still does. Coming up with an answer without working the problem in the way most people would. There was a great explanation for it in Dune, I believe it was called Intuitive Logic or Intuitive Reasoning, something like that and it meant that the person used intuition and logic together to arrive at an answer faster and more accurately than the conventional thinker. Now I don't pretend to have the type of “power” that was exhibited in Dune, but I do believe that I reach many answers using intuition and logic or reasoning based on knowledge and fact. And I wonder what my life would have been life if this type of thinking had been trained or at least not discouraged.
I guess today is my philosophical day, one in which I wax philosophical for the world to read. Not much ranting, very little raving, and almost no hysterics. Do you think I'm mellowing? Probably not, but the three day headache is gone and that's a good thing, today I get to try one new pain medication and it should work. I also had two aides show up early, which is a miracle in and of itself.
So, if the one would get back, soon, I could get on with my day, and see if something, anything, could be accomplished. That also would be a big change, not much has been accomplished lately around here and I'd like to change that, soon, because pretty soon you're going to hear a rant about the condition of my home and how I hate it.
But not today, at least not now. Later y'all.
